Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
