We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
