She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
