Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
