i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
