i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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