I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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