oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
