forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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