I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
