thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize
