exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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