That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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