"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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