thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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