The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just had sex bonerless
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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