I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hippo gnu deer
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
