Heybabeimwearingurpanties
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
