I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
