belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
