I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
