i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
