soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
