eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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