we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
