Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
