come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
