when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
