So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
