i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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