he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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