I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
