Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
