NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
