Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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