Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I could make wine with my vomit
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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