is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
