I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize