I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
