Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
