so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
