belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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