I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
