As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
