Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
