Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
