i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
