how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
