I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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