Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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