worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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