and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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