dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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